The Lives of the Heart
by Lastsongever
Summary: Vausman because who doesn't love that? The story takes place after season 1 and Follows Piper and Alex through Prison and Ultimately back into the real world. This story will offer tears, laughs and anger, as the two woman continue their lives together. Wow summary sucks.
1. Chapter 1

_**The Lives of the Heart**_

**A/N: This is my first Orange is the New Black Fanfic. I hope to make it entertaining and I hope to portray all the emotion that makes the show as amazing as it is. This is a Vauseman, which takes place at the end of season 1, things will be different then what is portrayed in the show, but I will try to incorporate the scenes from the actual show into my story.**

**Word Count: 2,285**

**Rating: M for violence, language, and sexual content **

**Genre: Angst, Romance, hurt/comfort, and drama **

**Warning: Lesbian sexual content, religious bash, foul language, attempted murder, violence.**

**I...I**

"_You shouldn't be with someone out of fear…" _Those words hung loosely in the air. Words weren't exchanged; all that was heard was the sound of breathing. _In… Out. _ Her heart sank low to the pit of her stomach, clenching her brown shirt tightly around her fist; she tried to stop her hands from shaking.

"_No…_ no. No. No. _No…" _The blonde's voice quivered and tears brimmed her eyes, the eyes that looked tired, and alone.

"I'm sorry. I… _Bye Piper_"

"No… Larry" Her call was cut off by an eerie beep that told her the occupant on the other line had hung up the phone. The blond couldn't stop the stray tear that rolled down her face. How did she feel? Sad. A least that's what she thought, her heart ached for Larry yes, and he was her fiancé so yes she was sad… Right?

Despite the wave of emotion the blond felt, one stood out to her greatly… relief. She was relieved, despite the fact that more tears began to fall from her face landing on the beige scrubs she was wearing turning the color slightly darker. Why was she relieved she didn't know, but she knew she had to go she couldn't stand here anymore the guard was watching her, waiting for her to snap, and the other inmates stared at her curiously, So she ran. She ran to the only place she knew she could, to the only person that she knew would understand her. She ran to _Alex_.

"_Alex_" The name rolled off her tongue with such ease despite the time they have spent apart, the word felt almost right as she rolled her tongue across the roof of her mouth at the L in her name. She had forgotten all of her and Alex's arguments none of it crossed her mind, as she walked towards the older taller brunet before her, she just needed to hear her voice. However the voice she heard was not the one she expected.

"Are you kidding me? Get out." It was short, and to the point and Piper felt everything that has happened in the last couple of days come crash on her.

"Alex" Her voice was desperate.

"Get out. No fucking way." And hers was angry.

Standing there, not knowing what to do, she gazed into Alex's eyes, but all she was met back with was a cold dark stare. Piper was going to start again hopping to get something out… she needed Alex right now, she had no one else.

_But you left her when she needed you_

That though broke her heart all over again.

"Get out." Piper stood she couldn't move if she wanted to.

"You heard the lady." Looking over Piper notice for the first time Nicky was there, and the smug look on her face got Pipers blood boiling.

Tears threatened to fall, but no not here she wouldn't let them fall here, so she ran, ran back to her bunk, no one was there thankfully so she crashed on her bed and released a loud sob, a sob so loud her body shook. And she cried, and she shook, and she remembered.

_You don't deserve to be happy, you are a selfish bitch _

And her thoughts where right, she was. Her eye lids grew heavy, but she didn't fight the sleep away she let it take her, and hopped that maybe this was all a dream.

**I...I**

A few hours later the blond found herself watching the Christmas show, she had told herself she wasn't going to go, but sitting in her bed was getting lonely so she hoped for some solace there.

Despite the cheer, love, and oddly enough... Happiness that flowed around her, her thoughts and feeling wouldn't let her be. Standing up and going outside, hoping to fill her lungs with some much needed air, she stood there in the snow, no jacket, no hat, just her and the snow… or so she thought.

"Hey. Hey where do you think you're going?" Said a loud voice, sighing she let out a breath and all the anger that she had let build up in the last 24 hours filled her.

"Oh no. Oh no. You do not want to fight me right now crazy. You do not." The blond walked towards the smaller woman. Doggett stood there in her Angel outfit, how ironic. Clenching her fist the blond was ready to attack when a wooden cross with a sharpened tip came into view, as Doggett shoved it in her face.

"Oh no? Maybe you're right I don't want to fight you. I wanna end you… right now." Fear coated the young blonds face as she began to step back. Noticing a blur back towards the door she focused her eyes and noticed Healy, in her daze she didn't notice when Doggett's arm swung.

Yelping the blond jumped back but the tip of the cross reached her abdomen and cut her slightly, reaching her hand to her stomach she felt warm liquid flow through her fingers, _Shit_. "You better stop Mr. Healy is right over there." The girl tried to reason, I mean Doggett was crazy but she wouldn't try something with a CO right there.

"Hi, Mr. Healy." The girl waved her hands to the older man and he looked towards her, then to Piper and she gasped at the ice she found in his eyes. He began to walk back into the building and her body began to shake.

"Mr. Healy! Mr. Healy! Mr. Healy!" The man was already inside and the blond was alone. "She's trying to kill me." She screamed to no one.

All she heard in response was a high pitch laugh that was joined by a pair of yellow teeth and two murderous eyes. Doggett swung at her again but this time Piper was able to jump away in time. Reaching into her pocket she pulled out the screw driver, that Boo had given her. She faced the point at Doggett's face, but instead of the fear she expected, a look of amusement passed in front of her eyes.

"Oh! Look what you brought out to play." Doggett's voice was full of laughter.

"You back the fuck off me." Piper's fear.

"You think I'm scared of you? Don't you?" She swung again. "I'm not scared of you. 'Cause I got God by my side." Again Doggett swings cutting deep into Pipers hand.

Yelping Piper drops the screwdriver and looks at her hand. Blood was flowing freely and the sight of it made her sick.

"And he told me you ain't worth _nothing. _See how he works through me? And he wants me to smite you!" Doggett looks her in the eyes and smiles. "I see things. And I see that you are the Devil and I am the angel of God. I mean, look at my dress. It's pretty, isn't it? How's that for poetry."

Piper was shaking the cold was filling her bones, she was scared and the abdomen and sleeves of her clothes where turning a deep shade of red.

"God loves me, he don't _love _you. Cause you aint worthy of God's love. You ain't worthy of _nobody's love_."

Piper stopped breathing, her breath caught in her throat, as she processed what Doggett said. Love? Did she deserve it?

"I think it's time for you to die." Piper in her daze didn't hear the small meth head and didn't process her moves until a sharp pain seared through her shoulder and warm liquid began to roll down her arm. A loud blood gurgling scream escaped the blonde's mouth, yet the adrenaline that coursed through her veins caused her to look at her attacker and swing at her head on.

"Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you!" Piper barely felt her wounds; she barley heard the crunching of bones being broken or the wiggling girl beneath her trying to get free. No all Piper saw was red.

What felt like hours, but was truly only a few minutes, the blonds fists seized and she finally noticed what she has done. Tears where flowing down her face and as she moved to get off of Doggett pain seared throughout her body causing her to fall to the ground. The snow was red, her clothes where red, Doggett's face was red.

_Tis the season_

She thought as her eyes began to close, as she fell to the ground hopping that maybe this could all be a dream.

**I...I**

She heard voices. Why where they so loud. _Shut the fuck up_ she thought. She tried to speak but what actually came out was more of a strangled moan. Why was she cold?

"Shit Nicky call somebody hurry." She felt pressure on her shoulder, and she moaned again loudly.

"No." she whimpered trying to get the strange hands off of her.

"Shhh baby, shh I have to put pressure, your bleeding a lot. Shit Pipes your bleeding a lot." The voice was strained and laced with worried, yet the quivering voice sent comfort through her body when she opened her eyes and saw Alex.

Looking down the Brunet noticed Pipers eyes open and a smile appeared on her tear stricken face. "What the fuck did you get yourself into kid?"

Piper smiled at her nickname, kid. "I fucked up Al." Piper turned her face slightly to look at Doggett's face, or at least what's left of it. Did she do that? Piper began to whimper as her hands began to shake.

Alex saw the reaction and immediately cupped the younger woman cheek and turned her face towards her. "Don't look at her babe okay?"

The blond nodded as one lone tear slipped her eye. Her head was feeling light, and the noises around her weren't so loud anymore, she was actually tired again, why was she so sleepy these days?

"Despite how fucked up this all is Al… Just imagine how great this story is going to be." Alex couldn't stop the small chuckle that left her lips as the brunet began to cry harder. "Yeah kid a great story." The blond smiled, but then quickly scrunched her face as a small cough parted her lips and coated her chin with spots of blood. Moaning the blond closed her eyes. Sleep seemed good.

"Shit fuck no! Piper! Piper open your eyes, where the fuck is Nicky with help." Alex pressed harder onto the wound hopping to stop the blood faster as she felt strong callused hands grab her under her armpits and drag her off of Piper.

"No, no Pipes!" Alex looked up to see Bennett and Nicky behind her. The Brunet tried to get back to Piper but was held back by smaller hands she knew belonged to Nicky.

"C'mon Vause let them work." Nicky's hard Brooklyn accent was loud against her ear as she felt herself get dragged back into the building; women looked her over with wide eyes. Her clothes where covered with blood and she was shaking like a leaf. She felt more hands on her as she was dragged away from the many stairs, and towards the "Suburb" bathrooms. She felt her clothes being removed and replaced with new ones. She heard comforting voices from different people, she recognized Red immediately her thick Russian accent and Lorna her thick Queens accent. She felt Red hold her whispering comforting words in her ear.

"She will be fine; she is a strong one, Vause very very strong."

Alex didn't respond, she couldn't even if she wanted to. She felt herself being pulled again this time towards the dorms where she was laid down. People tried to talk to her but all she heard was rushing water and saw the images of Piper and Doggett on the floor… so much blood. The brunet shut her eyes, hopping that sleep soon came, and those images would soon go, and she will wake up tomorrow and everything will be okay, tonight never happened and she will be mad at Piper again because of what she did… what did she do? God she couldn't even remember. Closing her eyes tighter she screamed for sleep hopping when she woke up she will be in a king size bed, wind blowing through the open balcony that overlooked blue waters and a black sand beach in Bali, with no sign of life for at least a mile west, and she would reach over and feel the warm back of the woman she loved, look into her blue eyes and wonder of this silly dream she had that reflected the next ten years of her life, and she will laugh, because if one thing was for sure Alex knew that she could never and will never let Piper Chapman go.

**I…I**

**A/N** Whoa that was intense I didn't even stop to think what I was writing I just let it flow. I will try to update as quickly as possible but I have school so. But yeah hopped you enjoyed it.


	2. Chapter 2 - Forgive and Forget

**A/N: Whoa I've never got so many followers in the span of a couple of hours. Anyway I know I am really late with updating but this chapter was a bit difficult to write, I suck at chapter where I have to get Alex and Piper to make up. I hope you like this chapter, it's a long one. **

**Word Count: 5,481**

**Rating: M for violence, language, and sexual content **

**Genre: Angst, Romance, hurt/comfort, and drama **

**Warning: Lesbian sexual content, talk of suicide, foul language, attempted murder, violence.**

**I…I**

_Four Months_, two weeks, and three and a half days since Alex had seen her, _Four Months_, two weeks, and three and a half days since Alex saw them drag her out like if she was some type of animal. No care, why would they care about us? To them we are Animals. Blood so much blood. Shutting her eyes Alex stood in the middle of the Laundry room mindlessly folding the clothes in front of her. She wasn't acting herself in these recent days, acting almost like a zombie as she roamed Litchfield, she knew her friends where worried about her, but they usually kept their distance letting Alex cope.

_**1 week after the incident. **_

_**6:30 Pm **_

_**Litchfield Federal Prison. **_

Alex was lying in her bunk, Nicky and Lorna have been with her, and they haven't left her side since _that night_. Alex's eyes were red and she just sat there listening to Lorna go on and on about whatever was on her mind this week. Alex was about to lay down again hopping for sleep, when she heard a familiar voice.

"Vause." It was calm and soothing. Looking up, Alex's green gray eyes met soft brown ones. Bennett stood outside her cube; his arm leaning against the cement block that surrounded her cub. "I have some news… about Chapman. She is fine; she was in the hospital for the first two days after the incident." 2 days? But it's been a week.

"She has been gone for a week." Alex said her voice hoarse from lack of sleep, and talking. Bennett's eyes grew sad.

"They put her in Shu, Vause. The way she beat Doggett… it was a mess." Bennett knew that Piper didn't deserve to be in the Shu, he knew that it was purely self-defense.

"That's bullshit Bennett and you know it! It was self-defense!" Alex had fire behind her eyes, she didn't even realize when Nicky put her hand on her arm to try and calm her down.

"I know Vause, but Figueroa, doesn't want hear it, she figured it will just be easier to let it go down as a mutual fight, then an attempted murder." Bennett had a slight anger in her voice.

"Of fucking course." Alex dropped her face into her hands, and sighed heavily. "How long?" This time her voice was much lower.

Bennett gave her a sad smile. "Indefinite. I don't know when she will be out Vause… I'm sorry." At this Bennett walked away, back to the bubble. Alex slightly nodded at his answer, not knowing how to react. _Indefinite. _

_**Present Time **_

_**5:24 PM **_

_**Litchfield Federal Prison**_

Alex was pulled from her daze, as a woman with crazy blond hair ran down the stairs and into the Laundry Room.

"Vause, come with me, let's go!" Nicky seemed almost anxious as she gripped Alex's hand and attempted to drag the taller woman behind her.

"Nicky, I'm not in the mood please just leave me alone." Alex tried to remove her hand from the blonde's firm grip, but failed.

"Come on I have a surprise for you let's go." Sighing Alex gave in and followed the blond not caring that she had left the clothes there unfolded and unattended.

"This better be good." Nicky grinned at her.

"Trust me it will be."

Nicky led Alex up the stairs and into an overly large crowd. People gathered around looking towards a door that was far down the hallway.

"Nicky what the fu-"

"Shh" Nicky snapped, instantly shutting Alex up. "Just watch."

A moment later Lorna walked in and behind her where three people in orange. One was a small Asian girl, another was a dark skinned woman who looked far too old to be here, and… her heart stopped beating.

Walking towards her was Piper, her Piper, but she looked different. Dark rings coated her lower eye lid, she was skinny, skinnier then before, bones stuck out in odd places, her arm was in a sling, her eyes however made Alex shiver, they were empty, and alone.

_**24 Hours Ago**_

_**Time Unknown**_

_**Solitary Confinement (Shu) **_

_Three months, twenty-eight days, no wait. I mean four months, yeah four, two weeks? Yeah yeah two weeks and 1… no! 2… 2 days. _

Piper Chapman, the blonde haired woman who had a smile that caused men and woman alike to fall at their knees, Piper Chapman the woman who was able to whip the Alex Vause, Piper Chapman the woman with an short temper, a short temper that changed her life upside down.

Piper's smile was almost nonexistent, a frown permanently edged on her face, her eyes the ones that once showed hope where now empty. Her eyelids dark from lack of sleep, and hair tattered from four months of restless sleep and lack of beauty care products.

All together Piper was lost, she tried to keep track of the days, it was the only way to keep her mind busy, and to ignore the screams. The screams of everyone around made her heart hurt, and eyes water.

The food was inedible, she wondered if it was mandatory that they served her this. She let her eyes close hoping for a dreamless sleep, her body rested immediately, and she was soon in a deep slumber, however her wish was not granted.

_Pain… so much pain, and cold. Doggett wasn't moving, dead. She was dead and it was her fault. Oh god no she couldn't have!_

"_Pip_er _what the actual fuck!" Alex. It was Alex. Turning towards her she winced, the blood from her shoulder and stomach where flowing freely, she was feeling weak, but despite the feeling she was glad to see Alex. _

"_Alex help me." She laughed… her typical Alex Laugh, the one she grew to love. _

"_Are you serious? Help you?" She laughed again, and turned her back towards her "No fuck you, I hope you rot out here you selfish bitch." Piper was shaking; she didn't say that, did she, no, no she wouldn't sh-. _

Fevered eyes shot open as piper sprung up from the bed, she was shaking, no someone was shaking her, looking over she noticed a tall guard.

"Get the fuck up Chapman or I'll leave you in here." The guard, whose name tag read Milder, gripped her arm and lifted her up from her bad arm. Crying out in pain, Piper stood up and tried to remove her wounded arm from Milder's grasp.

"Not a smart move inmate." He growled into her ear. Piper stilled and allowed him to grip her arm. "That's better, now c'mon lets go."

Piper opened her mouth to speak, her voice was soft and low, Milder had to strain to hear her. "You're out of here let's go." Piper was given an orange jumpsuit and was put into a room with a female guard. Made to strip, squat, cough, and dress, Piper was soon handcuffed and lead to a van. That was when Piper saw Fitsher waiting for her, she opened the door, and Piper slid in keeping her head down.

"Hey Piper how are you doin' you know we all missed you…" Lorna's words died on her lips when Pipers lost eyes met with hers.

"Maybe you should just drive." Fitsher said quietly to Lorna. Nodding, the small brunet turned on the ignition and drove away.

Piper noticed they stopped somewhere else that wasn't Litchfield. Looking up she noticed that this is where they pick up new inmates. Sighing Piper closed her eyes, and waited for the new people. Five minutes later a small Asian girl walked into the van followed by an old black woman.

Soon enough they were on the road again and where heading back to Litchfield. Stopping in front of the prison the inmates where shuffled out and into the building. Walking into the building Piper looked around, she had a feeling in the pit of her stomach and didn't know if she was nervous or just happy to be out of Shu.

"_Ooh! They must have locked you up for your own good."_ Piper's eyes widened, _Big Boo. _Piper noticed the young girl in front of her grow nervous and looked towards the voice. "Hey don't be afraid little girl, daddy can protect you from the element." Piper heard the girls chuckling and then Lorna telling Boo to back off. Piper was behind the group, and Boo's cheerful giggles where silenced as soon as her eyes met with Piper's.

"Oh my God."

"Oh shit, she has risen."

Piper looked at the group of girls muttering their surprise at seeing her. Sighing the blonde looked away and followed the group.

_**Present Time **_

_**5:30 Pm **_

_**Litchfield Federal prison **_

"Piper." The word where low in her mouth, her legs wanted to move, but they seemed almost like jelly. She felt a strong hold on her waist and looked down to see Nicky, she was holding her up. Alex quickly ran out of Nicky's arms and towards Piper, she went towards the holding cells for new inmates, Alex turned a corner quickly not looking at who was in front of her, and bumped head on into Lorna.

"Shit Lorna I'm sorry." The smaller woman would have fallen if Alex hadn't instinctively reached out to catch her.

"Oh it's alright; I would imagine you are in a rush." Lorna's red lips turned into a smile and pointed behind her. "She is in there, but…" Lorna placed her small hands on Alex's arm. "She is not right." Her voice got low. Alex's eyes grew sad as she peered over the group of new inmates and towards the room Piper was in. Her legs began to move towards the door, when she heard a deep voice yell that it was now time for dinner, as she felt a strong hand grip her arm. "You're out of bounds inmate, get to dinner, now" Alex looked up at the guard, he was new she assumed, she had seen him walk in with the group of new inmates and _her_ Piper, his name tag read Milder. A snarl appeared on her face as she moved to remove her arm, when she felt his hands to grip her arm harder. "Don't even think about it inmate, or I will get you thrown down the hill." His lips rose into a smile, as if he was getting off on this.

Alex felt a soft hand on her arm, and saw Nicky walking towards the dining hall, and motioning her head for her to follow. Nose flaring Alex relaxed in the officer's hand, and waited for him to let go before she followed Nicky.

"What the fuck Vause, Chapman comes out only for you to get sent back in." Alex looked at Nicky and sighed, she was right. Walking into the dining hall Alex and Nicky quickly grab their food and head to their normal table to sit with Lorna, Big Boo, and yoga Jones. Sitting down Alex looked towards the door waiting for Piper to come in and get her dinner.

_**Present Time**_

_**5:40 PM**_

_**Litchfield Federal Prison **_

Walking into hey old room brought back memories from the first time she was here, her breath caught in her throat when she saw Rosa. Dropping her bag Piper ran towards Rosa and gave her a light kiss on her forehead, and turned and quickly gave her other bunk mate a long hug.

"I missed you so much." Anita moved out of the hug gently, and went to cradle Pipers face, however stopped when Piper slightly flinched and went rigid. Anita instead smiled at her and pretended not to notice.

"We thought we lost you." Anita's voice was sincere and it made Piper relax slightly. "We heard you gave that -what's her boobs- a pretty good beat down." Instinctively, Piper reached down for her lower abdomen where her stitches where finally healing.

"You beat someone up?" Piper closed her eyes, trying to calm her breathing and erase of image of Doggett lying bloody on the cold floor. She opened her eyes and noticed everyone in the room looking towards her. Clearing her throat she faced the Asian girl who had asked her the question and nodded.

Walking back to her bunk, Piper began to set up her bed and was thankful when Lorna changed the subject. "What's your name again, hun?"

The girl looked towards her and smiled. "Soso" Lorna chuckled along with a few other girls in the room.

"No hunny your name."

"That is my name Brook Soso, funny story-" that was when she spoke, the black lady who had just been sitting on her bunk.

"Oh God can you just shut up, your voice makes me want to kill myself." The words rolled off her tongue with venom that sent shivers down Pipers spine.

Soso's mouth closed tightly and she looked towards Lorna. Lorna smiled to her and put an arm on her shoulder. "Don't listen to her, here I got some stuff for you and Chapman." Lorna laid the bar of soap and tooth brush on the table. "Why don't you take the bed above Chapman." That was the last thing Piper heard; the room was dead silent after Lorna left, her eyes where growing heavy when she felt a warm hand on her upper arm.

Piper stiffened. "It's dinner Hun; let's go get some meat on these bones." It was Anita, Piper visibly relaxed, and sighed.

"Yeah let's go." Getting up slowly Piper was weary of her sling as she moved between the waves of inmates all eager to get there dinner. Making it to the line, the aroma of food instantly made Piper's stomach churn… she wasn't really up for eating. Approaching the front of the line, Diaz handed her, her tray carefully into her mobile hand. Looking down Piper tried to find an empty table to sit at, the tray was heavy and the food was spilling over the side that was unsupported, due to her sling.

"Piper!" The sound of someone yelling her name made her jump slightly she noticed it was Nicky, waving her hand frantically to get her attention. Piper turned to walk towards the table Nicky was sitting at, when her eyes met with Alex. _Her Alex, _no, _not hers. _Piper stopped mid step looking down at her feet and tried to go around people to another table, she couldn't take Alex bashing on her. _But she helped you remember. _Piper shut her eyes tightly fighting the tear that was threatening to fall, moving faster, she tried to go towards the table where she saw Taystee sitting, until she felt something hard bang into her. Her tray fell with a loud thud some food falling off the side; she reached over to cradle her arm when she saw who she bumped into.

"Watch where you are fucking going Chap-man." Leanne voice was low as she pronounced every syllable of Piper's name. Eyes getting slightly bigger, Piper began to breathe faster as she moved to pick up her tray. _Shit. _

Leanne laughed a thick laugh that definitely didn't seem to fit her small stature. "I can't believe Pennsatucky lost to you, you're pathetic." Piper stood up from picking up her tray, images of Doggett's _bloody_ face against the cold snow ran through her mind. Leanne huffed a laugh again before nudging Pipers injured shoulder. "Well… at least she didn't lose by much." Piper winced at the nudge, her anger was growing, who the _fuck _did she think she was. Piper dropped her tray again and pulled her arm back about to swing Leanne when she felt strong hand wrap around her, preventing her from swinging. Piper instantly tried to struggle, images of the guards back at the Shu shuffled through her head, she began to struggle more, but the arms just grew tighter. Giving up her legs grew weak and she began to whimper slightly, _I don't wanna go back_. She heard commotion and then she was lightly dragged out of the cafeteria.

_You're going back_, "no please" Piper whimpered slightly "Please m'sorry." _Worthless, pitiful. _Shutting her eyes, a tear made its way down her face.

"Shush you're fine, you're safe." A strong voice filled her ears and brought comfort through her body, opening her eyes, Piper looked up and into Alex's green eyes. Her eyes seemed sad and worried, she didn't like to see Alex sad, turning her body around she leaned her weight on the thin frame of Alex, and wrapped her one arm around her torso, laying her head on Alex's shoulder as she let the tears that had been threatening to fall all day, come down and soak Alex's shirt.

_What are you doing! _Piper smelled Alex's scent trying to ignore her thoughts, _she doesn't want you, _Piper let out a small whimper as she gripped Alex shirt tighter, hopping that will keep her from leaving. _She hates you, she feels bad for you. _Piper loosened her grip on Alex, finally noticing what was happening around her. She was sitting in Alex's lap, all while crying her eyes out. Jumping off her lap quickly Piper moved backwards until her back met with a wall.

"M'sorry, please, shit, I'm sorry." Her voice was low and her red rimmed eyes made her seem lost to the world.

"Pipes you're fine, please don't apologize its fine." Alex's voice was firm but comforting. She reached out to touch Piper's arm in hopes for some other reaction besides the frightened look she is giving her now. "You're fine." Alex said in hopes of comforting the blond further.

Piper closed her eyes dropping to the floor and bringing her knees to her chest. "Alex…" Her name although felt wrong on her lips, made her feel safe. _Pathetic, _she was, wasn't she?

Alex knelt down in front of Piper and noticed the inner turmoil she was experiencing, "Pipes talk to me, what are thinking?" Alex gently reached up moving her blond locks out of her face, in order for her eyes to meet with Piper's.

Piper didn't look up, despite Alex's attempts. "Why are you here… I mean, why are you helping me?" her voice was low and hoarse from lack of talking.

"Piper look at me." Her voice was firm; it was the voice she used when they were dating. Piper looked up into Alex's eyes and gasped, Piper was overwhelmed with the emotion that she saw in her green orbs. "What do you mean why I am helping you…? Pipes..."

Piper couldn't stop the anger from rising, her infamous temper flaring to life. "Yes Alex why the _fuck_ are you helping me, because the last time I checked you told me that you where done, so please answer me Alex, why the fuck are you here helping _me" _Piper was looking into Alex's green eyes with an intense gaze, and Alex was looking back at her with that same furry.

"Are you fucking kidding me Piper? You know what, fuck you!" Alex huffed out a breath stood up and left the room leaving Piper sitting alone in her bunk. _Good job Piper, _sighing Piper went to sit on her bed she wrapped her arm around her waist and shut her eyes.

"_God loves me, he don't love you. Cause you aint worthy of God's love. You ain't worthy of nobody's love."_

_Blood, so much blood, it was cold, why was she cold? _

"_I think it's time for you to die." _

_Pain, Pain shoots through her entire body, it felt like fire. _

"_Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you!" Punch after Punch, her face was wet, why was her face wet? _

_Falling Piper was falling coming in contact with something hard and cold. Snow. _

_Looking over the snow was red, her clothes where red, Doggett's face was red. _

_Blue eyes moved to face the dark sky, but were met with greenish grey eyes instead. _

"_Alex" Her voice was low, weak, searching for comfort. _

"_Are you kidding me? You worthless shit" Shutting her eyes tears fell. _

"_No, Alex" Her voice was desperate. _

"_No fucking you, don't give me that Alex shit." Her voice was cold _

_Lying there Piper cried. "Please." Opening her eyes again she gazed into Alex's eyes, but all she was met back with was a cold dark stare. Piper was going to start again hopping to get something out. "Please Alex I need you… Your are the only one left…" _

"_Fuck you." _

_She was gone, the wind blew her away, and she was alone, bleeding to death. Her selfish ways caught up with her, she got what she deserved. _

_She started to sob, she sobbed into the night hopping someone… anyone will come. _

_But no one ever did. _

The blond shot up in bed, her uniform was soaked with sweat and her arm ached, her face was wet from tears, and the sound of sobbing filled her ears, she was still crying?

No it was…

"Hey. Hey. Hey. Brook. Brook? Brook?" The blond made her way slowly out of the bed hopping for a distraction from the thoughts running through her head.

"I though everyone went by their last names here?" Her face was red, she sounded stuffed and Piper felt a pang for her, she remember her first night here, that she spent most of her night crying.

"They do, but I can't say yours with a straight face right now so..." Piper said, although she didn't chuckle, she hoped that the light joke would calm the girl down. "Try to take some deep breathes." Piper attempted to calm the girl down, this was a technique she often used when she was sad or upset.

"Deep breathes. Deep breathes yeah okay" The younger girl breathed in deeply, and breathed out slowly.

"Do you wanna take deep breathes with me Chapman?" Memories of her dream, flowed back through her mind, Brook must had heard her while she slept.

"No." Piper said quickly, defensively.

Brook quickly tried to recover, "Do you know when I was WWOOFing on a walnut farm in Xenia-"

Piper was instantly taken aback, what was she saying? "While you were what-ing?"

Brook looked her with a face that said Piper should know what WWOOFing is. "WWOOFing you know uh Willing Workers On Organic Farms."

Piper shook her head, trying to understand what just came out of this young girl's mouth. "Where is Xenia?"

"It's in Ohio." Duh, chapman you should have known that.

Piper sighed and rubbed her temple. "You should just say volunteering in Ohio from now on; it's pretty miss leading otherwise." Piper said in a matter of fact tone. _Shut up, know it all. _Piper shut her eyes and sighed.

"Oh, okay well one time…" Piper zooned out while the young girl told her a story of her and a friend of hers, that didn't really interest Piper, but she smiled the whole time hopping Brook didn't notice that Piper wasn't really paying attention.

Piper was pulled from her thoughts at the sound of Brook Sobbing again, "Hey its fine it's going to be fine."

Brook red rimmed eyes looked into Pipers dark rimmed ones. "How are you so Calm, are you a murderer?" Piper froze, a cold shiver ran down her spine and her breath hitched slightly.

"No! No! I'm no murderer." _Lier_.

"Don't yell at me I'm really scared right now!" That made Piper jump, _so am I. _

"Oh God shut up!" Vee - Piper learned was the older black woman's name - yelled out when Brook yelled.

Looking back Piper sighed and tried to calm the girl again. "Hey, hey, hey, okay I know, I know." Piper looked into Brooks brown eyes and saw the sadness in them. "Hey I cried my whole first night here." _And the next night, and the night after that. "_It gets easier, you adjust." _Wow false hope, nice one Chapman. _"You will make friends, and soon the food won't make you dry-heave." Piper grabbed he tissues from her bunk and gave them so Brook. "Everything ends Brook, even Prison."

Brook smiled at her, a snot filled wet smile. Brook reached out and grabbed Piper's hand and squeezed it. "I think I already made a friend." Brook smiled again and laid down.

Piper sat back down on her bunk and sighed. She looked over at Anita, and Piper's eyes met with Anita's. Her eyes where full of sadness towards Piper and she had to leave the room, she was starting to feel suffocated. Grabbing her roll of toilet paper, piper all but ran to the restroom.

_Are you a murderer? _

Piper grabbed the edge of the sink trying to even out her breathing.

_Are you a murderer? _

Piper's knuckles where turning white and a loud but short sob managed to escape Piper's mouth.

She didn't hear someone come into the bathroom behind her, and when a gentle hand was laid on her shoulder, Piper nearly jumped out of her skin, ready to scream.

"Hey, hey relax Chapman." Nicky…. It was Nicky. Piper shuddered out a breath, and took a deep breath to try and even out her heart beat. Nicky smiled at her, yet her smile didn't really reach her eyes.

"So me and you are like snatch sisters now right?" Piper faced Nicky quickly, when she said that. "Hey chapman it was a joke, don't get your panties in a bunch." Piper shut her eyes, its Nicky, she should have known that Nicky would start joking with her; it was her way of dealing with tough situations.

"Can we not talk about my Ex-girlfriends Vagina?" _Ex? _Piper chuckled a bit after she said that to show Nicky that she was fine.

"Ex? Are you still mad at each other, Jesus Christ." Nicky chuckled and ran her fingers through her main of hair.

"We were never not mad at each other, Nicoles"

Nicky looked up at Piper and shook her head. "Oh no? It looked slightly different _that night_, especially the fact that she has been walking around here like a zombie for the past four and half months because she was worried about you." Nicky said with an exasperated tone.

Piper swallowed and wrapped her hand around herself; she has been doing that a lot lately. "Worried about me?" Piper said in a low voice. She couldn't remember what happened that night, all she did remember was that she beat Doggett to a pulp.

"Yeah you idiot, worried about you." _But she hates you. _Piper shook her head trying to rid her mind of these thoughts.

"You know you really hurt her." Piper bit down on her lip and shut her eyes refusing to let a tear fall. _Bitch._

"I don't want to talk about it Nicky, please." Piper opened her eyes and pleaded with Nicky. But Nicky couldn't let it drop.

"She came running to me like a little lamb, sure a lamb with sexy glasses, and nice soft pillowy tits." Nicky tried to use humor to defuse the tension, Piper was thankful.

"Alex is not a lamb... she is the wolf that eats the lamb." Piper smirked slightly at her analogy, of the only woman she had ever loved.

Nicky smirked, "Can you blame her? The lambs delicious… that's smart eating." Nicky winked at Piper and Pipers cheeks turned a slight shade of red. _She hates you. _

Piper was tired of the invading thoughts, which roamed her mind 24 hours a day never giving her a rest. Slamming her uninjured hand on the bathroom sink she sighed heavily. "Hey relax Chapman we aren't even supposed to be here remember?"

Piper took deep breathes and looked at Nicky with an angry expression, not because of her but because of herself. "Whoa are you gonna to beat me up now too?" Chuckling Nicky winked at Piper. "Just tell me the safe word." Piper couldn't help the smile that etched itself onto her face.

"I've missed you." Nicky, gave her a small smile, and looked away.

"Yeah I missed you too, and I'm not the only one, we all have, especially Vause."

"Are you okay?" Piper asked, hopping to steer the conversation away from where it was going.

Nicky sighed. "Fine, fine, just a little antsy lately."

"Oh not me, this place has been a spa, from where I've have been these last few months."

"Oh I thought the water tasted like cucumbers." Nicky said in a playfully sarcastic voice. Piper looked away from her, not really hoping to have to explain her experience in Shu to her. "Listen Chapman where you have been, it sounds horrible, I have only ever been there about three weeks." Piper nodded memories as memories of her time in solitary started flowing through her mind.

"I spent a lot of time wondering that if I would die, would it matter… you know?" Piper didn't want to say that, the words just flowed from her mouth, freely. Nicky looked at Piper with a slightly worried expression.

"In the macro sense, no, you are one cheerio in a bulk box of life, but you fucking tickle me… so I think it would matter, and I'm sure it would matter to Vause too. Now really Chapman talk to her, you guys need to talk I am completely tired of this whole sexual tension between you guys, I mean it's hot but it's sort of sad, too" Nicky chuckled slightly, and Piper gave her a small smile. "And what's a better time than the present I mean I lost all need to wiz at this point, so I am leaving which means, Vause!, get your ass in here and talk to your girl." Piper looked at Nicky with confused eyes, until she saw a tall brunette woman walk into the bathroom, Alex was holding her shower caddy. _How early was it?_ Nicky smirked and left the bathroom leaving the two women alone.

Both women looked at each other, not knowing what to say. Piper was the first one to talk between them. "How long have you been standing there?" it was an innocent question, Piper looked up into Alex's eyes and saw worry.

"Long enough." Alex slowly walked towards Piper, and placed her hand gently on Piper's injured arm. "I really did miss you, and I am sorry, about everything."

Piper shook her head, "It wasn't your fault, I was being a bitch, I was selfish, and none of this is your fault." Piper said looking into Alex's eyes. Alex reached her arms out to wrap around Pipers waist, and Piper leaned her body weight against Alex's body. It was quiet, neither of them spoke, they both just stood there drinking each other up.

"Alex, really," Piper moved away slightly to look up into Alex's eyes. "You hated me; you didn't want me in your life anymore." Alex sighed and shut her eyes wrapping her arms tighter around Piper.

"I thought I hated you, I wanted to hate you Pipes… you choose him, and you hurt me again." Alex didn't anticipate the sobbing the eluded from Piper the minute those words left her lips, but she was ready for it. Holding her tighter so Piper wouldn't fall from her anguish, Alex rubbed her back, and couldn't stop the stray tears from falling from her face.

"I was scared Alex, I still am." Piper's red eyes met Alex's equally red eyes and they stared intently at each other. "Alex, you erect these emotions in me, I am scared about falling with you Alex, but I want to so bad, I don't have the balls for it, but you," Piper chuckles "you have enough balls for both of us." Alex smiled and Piper took a deep breath in, breathing in Alex's scent, "Alex, I choose Larry, not because I love him… I didnt love him, I tried to, and I even tricked myself into thinking I did, because he was safe, he was Larry, a dull, boring man with a big heart, and I used it." Piper was mumbling low, thankfully the quite of the bathroom, made it easy for Alex to hear Piper's despite her low tone.

"Are you willing to fall with me Pipes? I know my ethics and way of living is unethical, but we don't have to free fall, we can have parachutes." Piper chuckled at Alex's corny analogy. The blond looked up and nodded.

"I choose you Alex, I have always chosen you." _This won't work, why do you keep toying with your heart? _Piper laid her head down on Alex's shoulder and shut her eyes, and felt Alex's soft lips on her neck, kissing her gently.

"And I you." Piper smiled. She wasn't fixed, far from it, but her heart was healing, healing now more than ever. She thought it was healing when she met Larry, but there was always this hole that could never be filled, until now.

**A/N: Jesus H. Christ, this was a dozy. I suck at writing a make-up story between Piper and Alex, it drives me crazy when it takes 50 chapters for the main characters to get together, in the show the get angry at each other and are able to forgive each other within the hour. Well this one is over 5,000 words long I was thinking of splitting it between 2 chapters but I couldn't find a place to split it so I just went along with the flow. This chapter was easily a more difficult one to write then the other but I got through although it took me a while. Now that I have established a relationship, I can get to work on Piper's recovery, and some other plot points I want to touch on. I really want to hit many things from season 2 in my story but in a different way. Just tell me how you like it. **

**Remember always review, leave some suggestions on what you would like to see in the story, I'm think of making Piper and Alex's relationship a little in the bdsm side but I'm don't so sure right now. **

**See you all soon. -**_**Nicole**_


End file.
